Eight Lesbian Dating Tips

When you’ve decided to be who you really are, it can be difficult to meet other women who are bisexual or lesbian.  So where are some places that lesbian and bisexual women can meet others? Here are a few ideas that should help you meet people for friendship, support, and possibly relationships.

Join a Team

Recreational sports teams are located in almost every city around the world.  Sports like softball, basketball, and volleyball especially seem attractive to lesbian women.  Some towns actually have whole leagues dedicated to lesbian and gay athletes, and in other places you might need to ask around to find out which town has the reputation of being the “lesbian” team, strange as that may seem.  If you aren’t athletic or really aren’t into playing the sports, rugby and softball games often have many lesbian spectators, and it can be a little more comfortable to strike up a conversation while watching a game and commenting on the action on the field.

Hit the Clubs

In nearly all cities, and even some smaller towns, there are often lesbian bars. On weekends, these bars can get pretty crowded and pretty wild.  If that’s not your style, try stopping in for a drink during the weekday Happy Hour for a much more relaxed atmosphere. These bars often have karaoke or open microphone nights during the week that are fairly tame as well,  where it’s possible to meet people in a low key and friendly environment.

Special Centers

If your town has any gay and lesbian centers, it is a great place to meet other people.  There are often support groups, book and movie clubs, and other types of activities geared toward helping people get to know each other.  Sometimes, there might be more than one in a town, so check into each of them and find a place that feels comfortable for you to meet like-minded people.

Get Involved

Sometimes the best way to meet other people with interests like yours is to actively take part in things that interest you.  Volunteering for something you feel passionate about is always a good thing to do—and there might be other lesbians there as well.  Even though the number of other lesbians might be small, you certainly will know that you have something in common with them.  Joining a local hiking group or garden club will certainly involve getting to know some new people.  Sometimes meeting new straight people and becoming friends also leads to meeting some lesbian or bisexual friends of theirs.

That’s what Friends are for

Chances are that a lot of your friends and co-workers probably know other bisexual or lesbian women, but are hesitant to play matchmaker.  Let these people know that you are definitely interested in meeting new people just to have a wider circle of friends. Once you meet just a few lesbians that you clique well with, they will probably introduce you to some more of their friends, and eventually you’ll be welcomed into a whole new group.

Group Outings

Another way to meet new people is to find groups committed to helping people get to know one another.  There are a number of online portals dedicated to this type of thing.  One of the biggest is meetup.com, and they have groups for anything and everything you might imagine.  The groups are formed with the idea for people to actually “meet up” and get to know each other while doing something that they enjoy- which helps you to meet a lot of new people in a casual environment.

Church on Sunday

Some churches are much more open to the gay and lesbian lifestyle than others.  United Church of Christ and Unitarian Churches are known to be tolerant, even welcoming, to gay and lesbian members and visitors.  Most times, the churches will advertise as “open and welcoming” to let GLBT community know they are welcome there.

Where do you live?

Most bigger cities have a neighborhood where lesbians and gays seem to live most often. Find the local hangout in that neighborhood—maybe a small café or coffeehouse, and you’ll be able to meet lots of new people.  Of course, if you live in that neighborhood, your chances of meeting new people multiply every time you take out your trash or walk your dog. If you prefer to move quickly, this page provides reviews of lesbian dating sites and services we prefer.

Gay man - photo by basedreams.com

People looking into gay dating sites for the first time often have many questions.  Here, we’ll try and answer a few of the most common ones we get.

How can online dating reviews help you choose the gay dating site that is just right for you?

When you first decide to look into gay dating sites, you should cast your stones into as many ponds as necessary until you find a site that feels like home.  Almost every site offers a limited membership. This will not give you complete access to the profiles generally, but will let you see enough that you can decide if the quality of the people on the site is what you’re looking for.   This is where online gay dating site reviews can help. They have previously done a considerable amount of research into the sites, as well as gotten feedback from actual users to form the basis for their review, so you can be sure that it is on the money.

How do I set up my profile?

First things first!  You need to have a great picture of yourself. Make it very natural- no Glamour Shots, and no 20 year old pictures.  Use a very recent, natural photo of yourself, and just use a head shot. You can have a friend grab a digital camera and take ten or 20 shots of you, then pick the one that looks best, and most like you!  Make sure that you smile in your photo.  You want to intrigue great people, not scare them off.

Many people only fill out minimal information in their profile, and that’s okay if you don’t want to attract any attention.  You don’t need to go crazy telling your life story, but give folks enough information to be able to get the real picture of you in their minds.  You’ll have a lot more people interested in speaking with you if you seem interesting!

Should we meet right away or get to know each other first?

This question can only be answered with, “Do what you feel comfortable doing.”  That being said, many people seem to email or chat back and forth for a week or two before deciding that they have enough in common that a physical meeting sounds good to them both.   Others are very insistent that they can’t tell a thing through email and they want to meet immediately to see if there is enough chemistry between them to warrant expending more time on this other person.  Decide what you feel is right for you, and be upfront about that with people who contact you so that they know what your expectations are.  If your rule for yourself is that you won’t meet anybody until you’ve talked to them for a week, but twenty minutes into a chat with someone you feel comfortable setting up a physical meeting, do it!

Isn’t online dating dangerous?

Gay dating sites are no more dangerous than any other dating site, and caution is the keyword when meeting new people in any venue.

Always arrange for the first date or two to be in a public place, preferably during daylight hours, for safety reasons.  Let someone know where you are going, and who you are going to meet.  99.9% of dates arranged through gay dating sites go smoothly (other than the initial jitters when meeting someone new) but it’s better to be safe than sorry.  Meeting for lunch is very non- threatening, and try to meet somewhere close to your home so that you can make a quick getaway if the date is just a total flop.  Politely tell the other person that you are sorry to have wasted their time, as you seem to have misjudged your compatibility, but that it was great meeting them.

Joining gay dating sites can be quite rewarding.  Your dating success can be just a few quick clicks away. Remember that many people don’t find the partner they deserve is because of inaction.  Make your moves and find someone to cuddle up with this winter. You can always visit our reviewed and favourite gay dating sites.

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Gay man - photo by basedreams.com

There are literally hundreds of gay online dating service sites for you to choose from.  How do you pick one that will fit your needs?   Figuring out what things are important to you will help you narrow the field.

Take some time surfing the net and checking out a few of the sites.  Spend enough time on each one to get the feel of it, and see what types of special options it might have for you.

Keep in mind that there are hybrid sites that offer matchmaking to both gay and heterosexual males and females, as well as those which are geared exclusively for gay men and women.  More important than the type of site is whether or not that particular site has lots of eligible singles in your area who look interesting.

It is often difficult for people to make the leap to a gay online dating service.  Many feel they should be able to just meet someone at the dry cleaner or gas station, but we all know that real life is much more difficult for the wide majority of people.  Think of it this way instead.  Most people are so busy nowadays with their careers and other commitments that they have no time to try and meet someone.  If you have the time, the whole bar scene may be a turn-off for you, or maybe your town is so small that there aren’t many singles out there anyway.   These are frustrations, to be sure, but some of the things that gay online dating services can help you to avoid.

If you sign up for a gay online dating service, you can decide when is a good time for you to scour through the ads and find some intriguing people.  Some sites mask your identity completely during the “getting-to-know-you” phase, and you can choose to meet the person on your terms.

There are lots of cool features on these sites: advice, feedback on relationships, tips, articles, online dating, sexuality and more.  Want to meet a woman 30-40 with a slim build?  With built-in functionality that includes information on age, gender, sexuality, distance, ethnicity, hair color, eye color, body type, career, etc., a full picture starts to emerge. You can find out a lot about a person just by reading their profile completely.

Choose the best gay online dating services by reading reviews about them.  There are some that definitely are not recommended, due to poor performance or allowance of bad seeds to remain online even after complaints are filed.  The best sites handle problem members immediately.  The reviews can also give you an idea of any special features of sites, and let you know if any of them has a specific niche that might be attractive to you.

Sign up for half a dozen sites and try all of them for a few weeks before you decide which one should be your “go-to” site.  Check out how user-friendly the site is and if you’re comfortable with it. See if they offer bulletin boards, anonymous emails, or chat rooms if those things are important to you.   Get an idea of how many appropriate singles there are within a comfortable geographic area for you to talk with and get to know.  After you’ve done on your legwork and you’ve found the site that you believe will help you find love, it’s okay to invest in yourself.  You may decide to upgrade your membership on that site while leaving your profile on the other sites and just using the free membership.

After all, the more people you talk to, the closer you get to the “right” one!

You can always visit our reviewed and favourite gay dating sites.

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Finding your partner

Though there are multitudes of gay internet dating sites on the web, there are also some gay dating services available which offer a more precise and personalized service.  These services operate in much the same way that physical dating services historically have, with “matchmakers” speaking to all of the members who sign up and finding out enough about them and what they hope to accomplish by using the service that they can introduce compatible members to one another.

Gay Dating Services

GayOptions:

Gay Options has been in the business of matchmaking since 1994, always focusing on the gay and lesbian community.  They say that their gay dating service specializes in finding a match for those people who are looking for a long term relationship.

Matching is done by people, and is not automated. The matchmaking team actually speaks to each of the new members to get a feel for them, their situation, and what they are looking for in a partner.  Then they go to work to find potential compatible matches for each person based on more than 100 physical and non-physical characteristics, as well as their personal knowledge of each of the members.

They screen the members well to ensure that they are honest in their assessments and emotionally ready for a relationship, and they stand behind the accuracy of information given to you about those they introduce you to as well.

Because they respect individual privacy and work in a dignified way, they are an effective alternative to hanging out in bars or scoping out online personals.  The members are a diverse clientele, with ages ranging from 21 to the 60’s, and differing relationship backgrounds. All of them are committed to being open to a long-term relationship with the right person. Most of the clients, but not all, seem to fit this pattern: very private, busy career professionals who are not into the bar scene and want to meet quality people, and have often been in a previous long-term relationship.

This service is may not be suitable for those who are looking for a more casual or friendly relationships.

Gay and Lesbian Introductions:

Gay and Lesbian Introductions is one of the earliest private gay dating services for both gay and lesbian singles.  One of only a handful of gay dating services that maintains personal contact with all of the members, and has over 15 years experience in personalized gay matchmaking.

They say that meeting people is easy, but meeting the right people that you have things in common with and can laugh and share with is much more difficult.  That’s where they come in.  They will focus on compatibility and not computers, and values instead of videos- and believe their system really does work.  They have a staff of counselors that takes the time to get to know you, no guesswork or videos. Just good people who want to help you find someone to share your life with.  Their philosophy is that the only way to find the right person for you is to get to know you.

Most people, gay and straight, leave relationships to chance because they do not know there is a better alternative.  Psychologists say that to create a lasting, quality relationship, the people involved must be compatible.  However, most couples build relationships based only on physical chemistry and are disappointed when they realize that they really are incompatible.

Gay and Lesbian Introductions say they want to help you treat your social life with the same level of energy that you do your career, because what will give you the greatest level of satisfaction is a great relationship.

Of course, with more personalized service comes a hefty price tag: over $1400 for one year of service.

Speed Date:

Speed Date is an online gay dating service, but with a twist.  Instead of poring over profiles, sending emails that may or may not be answered, and chatting via email or instant messaging for weeks or months, you are instantly connected to singles that fit the profile you’re interested in.  Speed Date sets up a number of three minute video dates with people in your area, and you can quickly see whether there is any chemistry between you or any of your dates.  It’s all about quick, round-robin style speed dating.  This has been very successful in bringing people together offline, and now it has moved on to the web.  It is a quick way to check somebody out and see if there are sparks, before you spend a lot of time finding out there aren’t.   If you find someone you click with, you’ll be well on your way to your second date.

Testimonials indicate that Speed Dating is a great idea, but may lack in execution.

These are just a few of the personalized gay dating services that you might choose to help you find that special someone. Here is one of our most favourite gay dating services review. Don’t hesitate, but sign up and start meeting some people that you’re truly compatible with.

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Finding your partner

There are numerous options online for singles interested in same sex relationships and encounters. Not only are there dating sites which are exclusively for gay singles, there are also broad-based sites without specific niches which also have gay members and offer resources and features for their increasingly gay membership base.

Gay Internet Dating

Following are some good choices for gay dating based on unofficial research, reviews of functionality, and rankings online. It’s useful, and necessary, to compare ratings and features to help you decide which dating service is the correct fit for you before making a cash commitment.

Gay

Gay is a gay internet dating site, but it’s also a lot more than that.  On this site you can find information about gay-friendly travel, or learn about new vacation destinations. You can also check out the latest fashions or most recent music releases and music videos.  There are great search functions where you can input the type of person you’re looking for, and sort by any of the criteria. There are good communications features, like IM and email directly from the site.  This site offers lots of security and privacy features, for those people these points are important to.

Yahoo Personals

You can check out Yahoo personals without registering or paying any money upfront.  If you find a profile you like, you can sign up on the site for a nominal fee and receive additional information and contact details.  Matching services are available on the site, and Yahoo’s software will match you based on the criteria that are important to you.  This portion is nice, because it allows you to input your criteria, and asks if it’s a must have, or it would be nice to have- so you can weight different things more heavily than others in finding someone who’s a good match for you. Yahoo has an extensive database, including a lot of photos, in a user-friendly format. Another nice thing about Yahoo is that you can keep your profile completely hidden if you’d like. Yahoo also offers a six month guarantee at the time of writing. (Not bad!)

Lavalife

Lavalife has three distinct segments: one for casual dating, one for those looking for a relationship, and the third for those looking for just a hookup. Each of them has their own forums, polls, and content unique to that part of Lavalife. Separate browsing and search functions are unique to each community also. You can also see who’s online locally, and communicate via IM, email, photos, or video. You can join one or all three communities, from the mild to risqué. Lavalife has a really diverse clientele so play it safe if you use it.

Chemistry

Chemistry  “bills itself” as the largest gay internet dating site on the web.  It is a sister site of Match.com…Hmmm!. Supposedly built specifically with the gay community in mind, and uses emerging research and software technology to match you with people they believe you’ll have great chemistry with.  They use a combination of personality matching and extensive user feedback in refining the matching process to help ensure that there really is interpersonal chemistry between the singles matched.  They also offer assistance in communications to help users feel more comfortable, and relationship advice from recognized experts in the field.  This site frequently runs promotions like free weekends, or getting three months for the price of one.

Match …yawn!

Match.com is the best known of all the major dating sites and is growing at the rate of 20,000 people every day, the fastest growth rate of any heterosexual or gay internet dating site. Match uses a personality-based matching system, which they back up with a six month guarantee that you will meet someone special.  They also offer help and guidance to those users who need assistance creating a profile. However, biggest isn’t always best!

Finding a partner who you enjoy begins by finding the right gay internet dating site. User reviews are essential to helping you decide what features you’d like in the site you will ultimately choose.  Find a site at this link that has the features you are comfortable with, and enjoy these reviewed gay internet dating sites which have become our favourites.

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