Dating violence is physically, emotionally, or sexually abusive behavior in a dating relationship. It happens in both gay and straight relationships, and is often characterized by aggressive and controlling behavior towards a partner.

There can be several components to the abuse, and they include each of the following:

• Verbal and emotional abuse

Threatening harm to the partner or someone they love, unless they do as they’re told

Belittling a partner and name calling

Unprovoked jealousy or a sense of ownership

• Controlling behavior

Deciding what a partner can wear

Telling a partner where they’re allowed to go

Calling, texting, paging, frequently or constantly checking up

Not allowing a relationship with friends and family

Stalker-like behavior

• Physical abuse

Shoving, hitting, kicking, pulling hair, and choking

It can also involve throwing things at the victim or hitting them with objects

In escalated cases, weapons like guns and knives can be used

• Sexual Abuse

Unwanted kissing or touching

Forced sexual relations

Forced sex of a type the partner doesn’t want

Anyone can be a victim, and it is not based on gender. Females are more likely to yell and scream, pinch, scratch, slap, and kick. Men are usually much stronger and can hurt women much worse- they are more likely to punch them or force unwanted sexual activity on them.

Victims often feel it’s their fault, and are often told that by their abuser. They can feel sad, confused, depressed, and angry, but also helpless and humiliated. It can be a love-hate relationship with “honeymoon periods” afterwards, so the victim remains committed to trying to make things better.

Consider these alarming statistics, as they apply to young people:

Over 30% of teenagers have been victims of dating violence.

50 to 80% say they know others who’ve been involved in violent relationships.

15% of teenagers report being the victim of severe dating violence.

Young women between 16 and 24 years old suffer the most at the hands of abusers.

Get help

If you are being abused, it is NOT YOUR FAULT! No matter what you do, what you say, or what you wear gives another person the right to put their hands on you in a violent manner.

Get help immediately if you are suffering dating violence. Don’t keep this to yourself.

Speak with someone who you trust and will help you, like friends, family members or parents, teachers, a doctor or nurse, etc.

Know that when you tell some people, that are sworn to report the abuse to authorities. (Teachers, doctors, social workers, counselors, sometimes even athletic coaches.)

If you need help deciding who to talk to, call a domestic violence helpline where you live.

Protect yourself

Make a plan for getting out of a violent situation. Think about what to do, who to call, or where to go for help ahead of time.

When going out, tell your family where and when you’re coming home.

Have important phone numbers handy- people to call or places to go in an emergency.

Always have a cell phone or spare change ready for instant communication.

Double date or go out with groups instead of alone.

Always have money stashed in case you need it for a cab, bus, or subway to get away from a bad situation.

In emergency situations, call 911.

Help Others

You can help if you know someone who is being abused.

Tell them how worried you are about their safety.

Listen when they need someone to talk to.

Offer your support.

Ask them how you can help.

Encourage them to get help and get out of the relationship.

Learn more about dating violence. There are often escalating patterns of behavior.

Avoid confronting the abusive partner. This can be dangerous to both you and the victim.

Hopefully, you are not now in an abusive relationship. If you are, get help and get out!  Here is another article that may be of interest to you, and talks about building healthy relationships.

I f you liked this article, please feel free to bookmark it below so you can find it again and so can others. Just hover your mouse over one of the icons to identify your favourite bookmark. …enjoy!

For those who are new to the world of online dating and dating websites, it can seem like a daunting project.  You sign up on dating site, do a search and find some singles who seem to fit what you’re looking for-but then what do you say to break the ice?

Making the initial contact with someone can be the most difficult part of online dating. Luckily, it’s almost always done by email, which gives you some time to think of what to say.

Here are some tips for writing a first message to someone you’re interested in:

Stay Calm!
It can be stressful to introduce yourself to a total stranger, and it can feel like you are writing your life story for their approval or dismissal.  It does not need to seem this way, and you needn’t be so stressed over that first message. You have nothing to lose, and no one will even know if it doesn’t work out. What is the worst thing that can happen?  You get a response of “thanks, but no thanks” or no response at all. It certainly is much better to find out right upfront if there doesn’t appear to be any chemistry than to meet face-to-face and get rejected.

Read all about them
Reading the person’s entire profile is important to give you something to talk about in your first message and tell you quite a bit about this person.  You will be able to see what they feel is important by the information their profile contains, and their personality usually will come through in their writing as well.  The other person will also be glad that you took the time to read their profile and find out a little about   them before responding.

Leave the Cheese
Don’t use pick-up lines!  They sound cheesy and insincere, and most people will simply hit “delete” without even considering meeting you.  Especially for men interested in meeting women, pick-up lines imply that you’re looking for a casual, sexual relationship, and most women won’t be impressed.

K.I.S.S.
This acronym stands for Keep It Simple, Stupid- and it makes a lot of sense with online dating.  Don’t tell them about your entire life since kindergarten! You want your message to be cheery and simple. Just say something along the lines of, “Hi, my name is TweetyBird.  I was looking at your profile and see that we seem to have quite a bit in common, as we both like to….”  If you have a common interest in hiking, tell them about the hiking trip you took through the Smokies last summer, or about an animal you met up with along the way.  Keep It Short and Sweet- no really long emails.  Making the connection through mutual interests will put you head and shoulders above most others.

Don’t try too hard, but do ask questions
You do not need to spend a lot of time talking about yourself and trying to impress someone on the very first contact.  If you overdo it, can you live up to the impression you give?  A little bit of mystery is good– leave some things to the imagination, or better yet, let the person reply with questions they might have.  What better way is there to get a conversation started?  People love to give advice about the things they’re passionate about.  If someone’s profile indicates they are an expert scuba diver, ask them how to get started yourself, or where to go for classes.

Exude confidence
One of the best things about online dating is the chance to get to know someone without the awkward face-to-face initial meeting.  Shy people will feel much more comfortable with a little cushion between themselves and the other person. Spend a little time getting to know each other, and if things don’t seem to be moving in the right direction, you can easily bail.  On the other hand, if things seem to be going very well, test the waters by suggesting a meeting.

Have Fun
Enjoy the process of first time messages, online dating as a whole, and meeting new people.  When you do meet in person, the conversation will come much easier.  Have fun and see the process for what it is- a way to meet new people that you might not have otherwise.  Don’t expect every person to be the love of your life, but instead think of it as making new friends.  Eventually, one of those friendships will blossom into much more!

Read more about online dating and getting to know people through Facebook.

Facebook applications popularity image techcrunch.com

Facebook is now known as one of the fastest growing sites for individuals to connect with.  This social media network is an online area which allows like minded people to connect.  This one portal allows you to find old friends or acquaintances, and is easily opens doors to meet new friends as well.  Within this specific site are not only basic connections to be made, but also a facility for dating on Facebook.  Understanding how this may affect you negatively can help you decide which approach you should take when using this application.

The growth of Facebook for general purposes has seen an average increase of 276% of users, with more than 250 million users online.  Within this one area, are five main dating applications that singles can use outside of their main profile to begin connecting with others.  There are many who will also combine the separate applications with their area online so they can attract single men and women to their site.  Recent statistics state that Facebook for dating is one of the most popular ways to meet others, following behind the dating site, Match.com at the time of writing.

Those who are seeking singles on Facebook are often finding it works more effectively than many dating sites because of the way the site is structured. Even if it is a bit of a struggle to find out how to do it. The ability to combine basic profiles with the ability to find friends or potential mates is often more beneficial for the following reasons:

• connect to singles on a global scale

• more possibilities for connections

• applications and profiles are free to use

• get information on a person before connecting

This is leading many to more attractive options to connect to others for dating.  However, this trend is one that is leading some people to abuse the trend of dating on this site.  Resulting in some stating that Facebook ruins relationships, especially if you are currently dating someone.  There are several stories that are based around the way this network is being used with singles having free reign to try to find others who are looking for a potential partner.

If you want to see how the popularity of dating on Facebook is leading to problems with relationships, then you can consider some of these stories of relationships that have ended because of Facebook.  For instance, one woman found her fiancee with a second profile that he was using to find women that were online, while the profile he had her on stated they were engaged.  She found that the second profile had been set up specifically to use this space for dating women, which eventually led to an end in their relationship.

Other less extreme situations can also lead to jealousy for those already in relationships.  For instance, some singles will post sayings or ‘flirts’ on your profile or may invite you to one of the dating applications that is on Facebook.  If you have a boyfriend or girlfriend that sees this side, it could lead to conflicts and tension with the relationship you are in.  There are several stories indicating the actions that other singles take on your Facebook page can lead to breakups and extra tension within a relationship.

Anyone who is in a relationship is the needs to use caution when getting involved with Facebook dating.  If you are thinking of using this as a dating application or are attracting other singles to your profile, then you may want to reconsider your options.

Here’s the dating safety link in case you want to check online dating safety matters further.

Copyright Datingxlence.com

STD dating tips

OK. So not only did your last relationship end badly, but you have been left with a lifelong souvenir of Mr or Ms Wrong. We are not talking about a tattoo of the last one’s names or initials done in indelible ink, but an STD. Aghhhh!!! Not only do you never want to see that person again, but they have left you with a nasty little legacy. Right now that legacy is making you feel like you will never be able to have sex with anyone else again.

Well, that’s where you are wrong. Did you know that there are over 70 million people in the US alone with an STD? Yep, it may be a nuisance to have picked up an STD, but you are by no means alone. The only good thing about there being so many other people out there with an STD as well, is that there are now plenty of STD dating sites who cater for STD singles. Here are some more tips on herpes dating if you want to drill down a little more.

STD dating services not only provide you with the opportunity to chat and socialize with other singles who have similar legacies to your own, but they also have all the newest information on resources and treatments. These can be great places for you to communicate with other singles who are experiencing the same feelings as yourself. You are also able to remain anonymous if you want to.

Many of these sites are not only dating sites but offer support groups and social events. This can be a great way for you to come to grips with the fact that you are not the only person in your city or town with an STD.

STD dating websites

They can take some of the drama of dating away for you. Yes, you still have all the other problems of trying to find true love, but at least you do not have the additional worry of having to break your piece of news to your new date. Not only that, but by using an STD singles site you do not have to worry about infecting someone else. The other singles at the dating site already have your STD.

You will not have to worry about your new date’s reaction to your news. You do not have to be constantly trying to figure out when is going to be the best time to tell your new date. You will not have to worry about being sent away, or passing your STD onto someone else.

Some of these dating sites are specifically for singles with genital herpes. Other STD dating sites cater to singles with HIV, genital herpes, HPV, and everything else that you can think of. Take a look at a few and find the one that offers the best for you and where you live. Here’s a review we did on one herpes dating site we thought was good value. Many of the sites are broken down into locations. Many cities and localities in the US have dedicated herpes sites that you can join.

Your sex life is not over. You will be dating others again in no time. If it all seems a bit overwhelming or embarrassing, why not try an STD dating site? At the very least you will be able to chat to others in the same situation as yourself, and receive local support and all the latest information. When you feel like dating again, there will be plenty of other STD singles for you to check out. Getting an STD does not mean you have to say no to dating and sex. There are many other single people out there just like you who are still dating, having sex, and looking for Mr or Ms Right. Here are additional herpes dating tips.

Here are some more useful articles on the subject of STD and herpes dating -

• Dating with Herpes
• Herpes dating (a broader view)

most trusted and largest anonymous STD dating site!

Copyright DatingXLence

Herpes dating tips

Are you one of the one million people who will be newly diagnosed with genital herpes in the United States this year? Are you thinking sad thoughts like “I will never find anyone to have sex with again”, or “No one will ever want to date me” or “My sex life is over”? Nothing could be further from the truth. The only good thing about 45 million people in the US having herpes is that there many herpes dating sites out there to choose from.

Once you get over the shock of your diagnosed herpes it is natural to worry about your sex life and future partners. Yes, some people may not want to continue to date you once they hear about your virus, but there are plenty of other people who will not let that get in the way. When you start dating again, you will have to allow the relationship to develop before jumping in with your news.

It is not going to be a great idea to tell your potential lover when things are already hot and heavy. You have an obligation to let them know in advance and to always have safe sex. Whenever you feel an outbreak coming on, you will have to abstain until the sores are totally healed with new skin. Condoms can prevent some transmission, but not all, as not all infectious sores are covered by the condom.

You should never, ever wait until after you have had sex to tell you new lover your herpes news. This is unfair and they will rightly probably become very annoyed. Some dates will need time to digest your news, and maybe go off and do some research. Some people may astonish you by telling you that they already have it. Since 1 in 5 adults in the US over the age of 12 have herpes, this is a fairly likely scenario. Consider that 1 in 4 women and 1 in 8 men are infected with the herpes virus.

Herpes Dating Sites

Dating other people infected with herpes can be a lot easier and much less dramatic. These people who have been just as unlucky as you will not be freaking out when you give them your news. Herpes dating sites have been created to make it easier for people with herpes to get back into the dating world.

Herpes dating services for people with herpes have been created to take all the drama, anxiety and uncertainty out of the herpes single life. Not only do these specific dating websites for people with herpes provide you with potential dates, but they also offer herpes support, herpes information, and advice for living with herpes.

Some of these dating sites are specifically for herpes dating alone, and some STD dating sites include all STD infected singles. (There are over 70 million people in the US with some form of STD.) You may prefer to select a herpes dating network specifically for herpes singles, or you may prefer a dating site for all STD singles.

Many people with an STD find it easier to use a specific dating site. The thought of having to tell a prospective new partner about your virus can be overwhelming and embarrassing for some. The great advantage to a herpes dating site is that you will know that about each other before you get hot and heavy. If the relationship doesn’t work out, it will not be because you or the other person is blaming the herpes.

Safe Sex

Just because you have the herpes virus does not make you immune to picking up anything else. In fact, medical research has revealed that people infected with genital herpes can be more susceptible to picking up HIV. You need to be practicing safe sex in the first instance until you get to a stage in a relationship where you are going to be monogamous and screened for diseases.

Using condoms will only protect your partner from coming into contact with any sores covered by the condom. Condoms do not always cover all the infected sites. When you are suffering from an outbreak you need to abstain from intercourse until the scabs have healed and new skin is formed. Here are further herpes dating tips.

Dating with Herpes

Having herpes does not mean that you will never have sex again. Having herpes has not changed who you are or your personality. You dated before you got the herpes and you will date again. You may have to change your sexual practices and develop a relationship prior to explaining about your herpes.

Genital herpes dating sites can be a great solution for those herpes singles who are finding it overwhelming or embarrassing when dating new partners. Dating other singles with herpes can be a relief for many singles who cringe at the thought of having to tell someone. Herpes dating websites can be the perfect solution for any single who has had an unpleasant experience in the past trying to tell a new partner about their health.

Herpes dating sites level the playing field for those singles with herpes. Why make dating any trickier than it is already? Have a look at a few herpes dating sites and see for yourself how many single hotties there are out there with the same virus as yourself. You may be pleasantly surprised. You can have herpes and still date and have sex. Make sure you see this review on one specific dating site for dating with herpes.

Here are some more useful articles on the subject of STD and herpes dating -

• Dating with Herpes
• STD dating

most trusted and largest anonymous STD dating site!

‘What was it I said?’ you think to yourself. Ever been in this situation? Tired of suffering from foot in mouth disease? Use these dating tips for guys to prevent dating women from becoming a verbal nightmare. Coco Swan explains which terms that come guaranteed to upset your girlfriend. Yes, really.

1: ‘Just relax.’ When your girlfriend is totally freaking out, it might seem rational to you to say this. However, your girlfriend is upset about something which she sees as a valid reason for doing so. When you tell her to relax, you are implying that whatever is upsetting her to this extent is trivial, or worse, that she is being irrational. Girls do not like to be thought of as irrational. When you stay calm, which in her eyes is doing nothing, you are denying that there is a reason for her to be upset.

Rewind to this: ‘This is upsetting for me as well. Let’s fix this together’. You are now appearing to be in tune.

2: I’ll leave it for you to decide. By saying to her “I’ll leave it to you to decide” you are actually saying ‘I just don’t care what you decide’. Life is full of decision making. While men think of decision making as hard work, women see making choices as being part of a partnership and look forward to the input. When you leave it to them to make the decision you are making them feel that you just don’t care enough.

Rewind to this: ‘I don’t really like option A but option B and C sound pretty good. What do you think?’ This is a splendid answer because it gets you out of deciding, implies you care enough, and proves you were listening.

3: Saying nothing at all You might be scared of saying the wrong thing. You may think this is the safe option. You may be thinking that ’silence is golden’. You might be worried about incriminating yourself. Wrong, so wrong, very wrong and totally wrong! Girls feel abandoned and on their own when you do not talk to them.

Rewind to this: Say something, anything at all. You are better off to make some contribution to the conversation than none at all. It doesn’t matter if what you say is not right, it is always better than nothing at all.

4:I love you while fighting. The three most romantic words in the English language should never be used to get out of an argument. When your girlfriend is still furious with you, trying to get out of the argument like that will never work. Your girlfriend has more to say and you will be hearing it. By attempting to finish the disagreement like that, you are coming over as trying to sneakily shut her up and you will just wind her up even more. You will get no help from saying those three words now.

Rewind to this: Explain what you have done, in detail, with a good reason attached. Reassure her that you won’t do it again. Now you can say ‘I love you’. It is perfectly acceptable to end with this, just don’t begin your apology with it.

The ultimate all-time one-liners.
These are the three statements that all girls love to hear. By saying any of these you will be sure to defuse the situation and make her far more loving and rational. You can also use these tips.

I’m sorry, you were right. Or ‘I’m sorry, it is my fault. Difficult words to say, but there is nothing more of a turn on to a woman than a man who is prepared to admit defeat on the strength of his love. Obviously, it probably wasn’t your entire fault, and if so, then you should be receiving an apology as well. You may feel like you are losing face by saying sorry, but in reality you are gaining enormous amounts of respect.

You are just so gorgeous. This must be said in a very genuine sounding way, and as if you have just that second been blinded by her beauty. From a girl’s perspective, is probably better than saying ‘I love you’ as an end to an argument.

Tell me the whole story. Girls become angry at the thought of not being able to tell their side of the tale. By giving her free reign to talk, she will automatically start to calm down. Additionally, she will start thinking as she is talking ‘do I really want to tell him this bit?’ and ‘is this part really important?’ and the story will become a lot briefer as a result.

You can win the war of the words. By using these relationship tips you will be able to defuse any argument and keep your love. If you’re currently in the market for a girlfriend or someone to say nice things to, this is magic - How to approach a girl. I mean that! Equal to or perhaps better than any guide I’ve been invited to read to-date.

Good Luck, Coco Swan.

Herpes dating tips

1 in 5 men and 1 in 4 women are living with herpes. Do not despair. You are not alone. Herpes research, herpes treatments and many herpes dating services are out there to enable you to have a happy and healthy love life.

According to the Centres for Disease Control and Prevention, the number of Americans infected with genital herpes has increased by 30% since the late 1970’s. 80-90% of people infected with genital herpes don’t even realize they have it, either they have no symptoms or they have failed to recognize the herpes symptoms.

Herpes Treatments. There is no cure for herpes. Oral prescription antiviral medications including Acyclovir (Zovirax), Famciclovir (Famvir) and Valacyclovir (Valtrex) can all reduce the frequency of attacks and help the sores heal sooner.

Recently the Food and Drug Administration approved Valtrex for the use in preventing genital herpes transmission. The infected person takes the drug continuously once daily to significantly decrease the risk of spread, although herpes transmission can still occur. A visit to your local medical practitioner or sexual health clinic can inform you more fully on this positive news.

Herpes Research. According to the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID), who supports research on genital herpes and HSV, studies are currently underway to develop better treatments for the millions of people who suffer from genital herpes. While some scientists are carrying out clinical trials to determine the best way to use existing medicines, others are studying the biology of HSV. NIAID scientists have identified certain genes and enzymes (proteins) that the virus needs to survive. They are hopeful that drugs aimed at disrupting these viral targets might lead to the design of more effective treatments.

Meanwhile, other researchers are devising methods to control the viruses spread. Two important means of preventing HSV infection are vaccines and topical microbicides.

Several different vaccines are in various stages of development. These include vaccines made from proteins on the HSV cell surface, peptides or chains of amino acids, and the DNA of the virus itself. NIAID and GlaxoSmithKline are supporting a large clinical trial in women of an experimental vaccine that may help prevent transmission of genital herpes. The trial is being conducted at more than 35 sites nationwide. For more information, type in Herpevac Trial for Women or type in herpesvaccine.nih.go

Topical microbicides, preparations containing microbe-killing compounds, are also in various stages of development and testing. These include gels, creams, or lotions that a woman could insert into the vagina prior to intercourse to prevent infection.

This information on herpes research was provided by the NIAID and dated October 2005.

Responsible Loving. Anyone diagnosed with genital herpes must disclose their disease with all potential partners. Even the use of a condom does not prevent the spread of disease because a condom may cover not all sores. It is possible for the virus to become active and transmitted to a sexual partner even when the skin appears completely normal.

How to protect your partner:
1: always use a latex condom.
2: no sex while you have an outbreak or if you think you are about to have an outbreak. Wait until sores are completely healed before resuming sexual adtivity.
3: use Valtrex daily to minimize the risk of spread.

Breaking the News. Honest and open communication with potential sexual partners is very important. Having to tell someone you have genital herpes can be an extremely embarrassing and worrying situation. You need to be able to talk to each other, as they too could be carrying a STD as well.

1: Know the facts. You should be positive about your disease. Your life will go on and you are hoping for support and acceptance. Tell them how common it is, the herpes treatments and the precautions.

2: Choose the right time. You should let the relationship develop a little so that you will be able to be comfortable about being honest. Look for an opportunity for the conversation to come up. This chat should definitely happen before you become physically intimate or too hot and heavy.

3: Choose a private relaxed place for the talk to take place.

4: Some people need time to digest this sort of news. Give the other person a bit of space if they need it. They might want to do their own research or see their medical practitioner. They may also be among the other 50 million Americans who are already infected.

Herpes Dating Sites. Some singles with herpes find it easier to date exclusively other singles living with herpes. Certainly, the potential for embarrassment and possible rejection and guilt can be avoided in this scenario. If this sounds more like you, there are many herpes online dating link sites, herpes dating services link, herpes personals and even STD singles sites and services that you can join.

Living with herpes and dating with herpes is not the end of the world. You are among 50 million other Americans who also have the herpes infection. There is a lot happening in herpes research, herpes treatment and herpes prevention. Get yourself healthy and knowledgeable and get out there and find a partner.

If you want to see a site now that focuses on positive outcomes for people with herpes go straight to this dedicated site. Come back to this page if you want to run through the information again.

Here are some more useful articles on the subject of STD and herpes dating -

• Herpes dating (a broader view)
• STD dating

….good luck,

Coco Swan.

most trusted and largest anonymous STD dating site!

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