Online dating is a great way to meet people, and most people you’ll chat with are genuine. But a little caution goes a long way. These practical tips will help you stay safe from the first message to the first date and beyond.

If you’re ever in immediate danger, call 000 (in Australia) or your local emergency number.

Protect your privacy while you chat

• Keep chats on the dating app or site at first. Their messaging tools have reporting and blocking features. Be wary of anyone who pushes to move to WhatsApp, Telegram or email straight away.
• Hold back personal details. Don’t share your home address, workplace, full name, financial details or daily routine until you really know and trust someone.
• Use photos you don’t use elsewhere. Pictures from your social media can be reverse-searched to find your other accounts.
• Think before sending intimate images. Once they’re sent, you lose control of them. If someone threatens to share intimate images of you, it isn’t your fault, and help is available from eSafety.
• Do a little homework. A quick search of their name and a reverse image search of their photos can reveal fake profiles.

Meeting in person

• Video chat first. A quick video call helps confirm the person is who they say they are. Someone who always has an excuse not to video chat is a red flag.
• Meet in a busy public place. Choose a café, restaurant or bar with plenty of people around. Avoid private homes or isolated spots for the first few dates.
• Tell a friend. Let someone you trust know who you’re meeting, where and when. Share your location with them and arrange a check-in text during or after the date.
• Get yourself there and back. Drive yourself, catch public transport or book your own ride so you can leave whenever you want.
• Stay in control. Keep an eye on your drink and your belongings, and know your limits with alcohol.
• Trust your instincts. If something feels off, it’s okay to end the date early. You don’t owe anyone an explanation.

Never send money

This is the golden rule. Never send money, gift cards, cryptocurrency or your bank details to someone you’ve only met online, no matter how genuine the story sounds. Don’t accept money from them or move money on their behalf either, as scammers sometimes use victims to launder funds.

How to spot a romance scam

Romance scammers create fake profiles to build trust, then ask for money. Watch out for someone who:

• declares strong feelings or talks about the future very quickly
• wants to move the conversation off the dating site straight away
• always has a reason they can’t meet or video chat (for example they’re working overseas, on an oil rig or in the military)
• has a sudden emergency and asks for money for things like medical bills, travel, customs fees or a business problem
• asks for payment by gift cards, cryptocurrency or money transfer
• offers you an “investment opportunity” or wants to teach you about crypto trading
• asks you to keep your relationship secret from friends and family
• has a profile that seems too good to be true, or messages with details that don’t add up

What to do if something doesn’t feel right

• Stop contact. Don’t send any more money or information.
• Report the profile to the dating site or app so they can investigate and protect others.
• Contact your bank straight away if you’ve sent money or shared financial details.
• Report scams to Scamwatch at www.scamwatch.gov.au, where you can also learn about the latest scams.
• Get help with online abuse, such as image-based abuse, threats or harassment, from eSafety, Australia’s online safety regulator.
• Talk to someone you trust. Scams can happen to anyone. There’s no shame in it, and talking it through helps.

Useful links

• Scamwatch: https://www.scamwatch.gov.au/
• eSafety Commissioner: https://www.esafety.gov.au/
• Emergency: call 000 (Australia)

DatingXLence is for adults aged 18 and over. This page is general information only and isn’t a substitute for advice from police or other professionals.