10 Essentials Of Swinging For Beginners

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Many have heard about the 10 Essentials Of swinging For Beginners lifestyle but not all of them understand it.  For some, swinging is a taboo but there are also those who have come to accept this and even tried it.  There are more than 4 million people who are swingers and there are thousands of swinging clubs around the world nowadays.

Swinging is an alternative lifestyle where a committed or married couple who engage in sexual activities with a single person, another couple, or multiple couples.  Swingers can often meet other swingers through swinging clubs, swingers’ personal ads, swingers’ lifestyle magazine, and online swingers’ site.

It has been thought that the practice of swinging started in US military bases in California in the 1950s in the little get-togethers called key clubs.  It has been said that the husbands put their car keys into a bowl and the wives pull out the keys.  The owner of the key that a wife pulled out will be her sexual partner for the night.
In the late 1990s, the swingers’ lifestyle or “The Lifestyle” was created in London.  Trendy venues were selected, photos were required to prove attractiveness, and smart evening wear was the dress code.  This practice soon became popular among many swingers all over the world.  Swingers can be usually classified according to who do selective swinging and those who do lifestyle swinging.

There are many kinds of swinging activities, ranging from exhibitionism to full swapping of partners.  The kind of swinging activities a swinger can involve in would greatly depend on what he or she feels comfortable doing.  These activities can occur in private homes, swingers club, hotels, private parties, and in certain holiday resorts.

For people who want to try this alternative lifestyle, there are many swingers’ websites online.  Many of these websites cater to couples who are looking for extra sexual excitement together or those who want to heat up their relationship, as well as single individuals who want to meet with other like minded people.  These sites usually offer video chat rooms, swinger club location listing, speed dating, hot games, and video messenger.  Some of these sites also offer adult personal ads and offline swinger parties.  There are even sites that cater to couples who are planning to go on swinging holidays or vacations.

If you feel that the swinging lifestyle is for you and your partner and you want to try it, here are the 10 essentials of swinging for beginners:


If you and your partner are seriously considering adopting the swingers’ lifestyle, it is very important to discuss your reasons for wanting so.  Couples have various reasons for wanting to try swinging and these reasons can either be healthy or unhealthy reasons.  There are couples who want to try swinging to spice up their intimate life but there are also people who just want to appease their partner.  If your relationship is rocky or is undergoing some problems and you want to fix it by injecting some excitement to it through swinging, you may get disappointed.  Swinging is not just for every couple.

In the main, the swinging life is commonly for couples who have strong and healthy relationships and who are looking for a little adventure.  Consider your relationship and if you think that your relationship is not strong enough, you may want to reconsider your plans of trying or adopting the swinging lifestyle.


In the swinging world, expect to choose from a lot of options.  For example, you can choose to join any of the many swingers clubs and swingers’ parties.  You can also choose from many kinds of swinging activities with people of the same sex or with other swinging couples.  Talk with your partner about your fantasies and expectations and find a common ground.  Knowing what you want and what your partner wants will help you determine the kind of swinging activities you will both enjoy.

Ground Rules

It is very important to lay some ground rules especially when you are just starting out.  You and your partner should talk and come up with ground rules up front that you both feel comfortable in.   If you are both at a swinging club or swinging party, for example, and you want to leave early, will it be okay for you to have your partner stay behind?  Do you want to be always together or to be always in the same room in every swinging activity you join in?  Do you feel comfortable watching your partner in an intimate activity with another person?  You and your partner will always have expectations and preferences so make sure to talk about them when deciding on the ground rules you both would abide to.

Creating A Persona

There will certainly be times when some swingers do not feel comfortable revealing their true persona in the swinging world that they often create personas that they use online and at swingers clubs and parties.  If you want to keep your true identity private, you can create a persona for the swinging world.  Many swinging couples do this and come up with fake names and fake identities to protect their privacy.  If you and your partner do not feel comfortable revealing your true identities to the swinging world, be assured that it is perfectly acceptable to make up fake names to safeguard your privacy.


If you want to protect your privacy, you should also understand that other swingers also want the same.  When you meet other swingers, you would also need to respect their privacy and not ask too many questions.  Aside from being quite irritating, being nosy is a big no-no as many swingers would want to stay anonymous as much as possible.  Also, avoid taking any video or photos unless you have been given permission in advance.

Meeting Online

With the widespread use of internet technology, many swingers find it easy to hook up with people of the same interest online.  There are many adult dating and swingers’ site online where swingers meet other swingers.  You and your partner would need to sign up for these sites.  You can search through the profiles of other members in the swingers’ site you signed up for.  You can strike up an online conversation with people or couples you are interested in through these sites.

Swinging Clubs

If you and your partner want to adopt a swinger’s lifestyle, you can check whether there are swingers club in your area.  You can ask around discreetly or you can do an online search to know whether there are any swingers clubs near you and to know how to participate.  You can also try asking others swingers you meet, online or personally, about it.  After locating a swingers club near you that you want to go to, check first whether the club is exclusive for swinging couples only or whether it is also open to individual swingers.  Swinging clubs also usually have theme nights so you may want to check that out as well.

Swinging Parties

If you have succeeded in entering the swinging world, there will come the time when you will be invited to a swingers’ party.  If you and your partner plan to attend one, be sure to arrive on time and make sure that you both look and smell good.  Swinging parties are great opportunities to meet other swingers and to participate in swinging activities so do not to be unfriendly or pushy.  It would always be wise to practice safe sex.  Doing so will let you enjoy the experience while protecting yourself and your partner.

Considering Your Options

Meeting other swingers online or through swingers clubs and parties would enable you and your partner to meet individuals or couples you will be attracted to.  When this happens and you want to get to know them better, you can meet up with them for dinner or some drinks.  This will give you the opportunity to check one another out and get to know each other better.  If the prospects look good, you can set up a second meeting.  However, if you don’t feel any spark or any connection, it would be best to just be honest and move on.

Having Fun

As an alternative lifestyle, many people find the swingers lifestyle exciting and a lot of fun.  However, if you feel that it is responsible for the tension in your relationship, it would be wise to stop.  Swinging is not for everyone and should only be pursued by partners who truly enjoy living this alternative lifestyle.  For many swingers, they feel that the swinging lifestyle strengthen their emotional bonds and relationships but there are some who find that they have contend with jealousy, insecurity, and other problems.  If swinging is not doing your relationship any good, you can always stop.

As I mentioned earlier, this isn’t for everyone but everyone is different!

I hope this has been helpful,

Billy Baker

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