dating the right person2

Abusive relationships can leave you with deep physical, emotional, and psychological scars.  Being in an abusive relationship is never easy especially if you really love your partner.  It also does not help that subtle signs of abuse, more often than not, are not easily recognized by the people within the relationship.  They also usually go through an initial stage of denial and convince themselves that either the relationship or their partner is just undergoing a certain phase and that things will get better soon.

However, abusive relationships are often progressive and abuses are not just a passing phase of a relationship.  Abusive relationships tend to get worse over time.  Abusers also tend to shift to more over physical threats or abuse especially in times of stress.

Abuse has long term implications, self-esteem issues, and profound repercussions on the partners of abusers.  Moreover, getting out of an abusive is very difficult as abusers tend to get more violent especially when they are desperate.  If you don’t want to get chained in an abusive relationship, it is better to stay clear of it in the first place.

Recognition

First, you must recognize that you are vulnerable to abusive relationships.  You should make more effort to be more emotionally healthy.   Otherwise, you will likely find yourself in an abusive relationship.  Recognize your own worth and don’t depend your sense of self-worth on other people.  You are a beautiful person in your own right.

Upon recognition of the first sign of abuse, walk out from the relationship.  Remember, the abuses will get worse over time so it is better, and easier, to get out from an abusive relationship the earliest time possible.

On the other hand, there are people who do not like being in an abusive relationship but find a level of comfort in one because such relationship is familiar.  If you are one of these people, you need to break from this pattern to prevent being in abusive relationships in the future.  Keeping a journal can help you find out the trigger factors why you let abusers into your life.

Heal Your Emotional Wounds

Before you enter a new relationship, heal your motional wounds first.  Otherwise, you may be just on a rebound and you are very emotional that you can’t clearly see things as they are.  This is one the reasons why many people find themselves bouncing from one abusive relationship to another.  However, you can prevent this from happening to you by taking sabbatical from relationships until you are really ready for a new one.

If you find yourself bouncing from one abusive relationship to another, seeking professional help can help you.  A qualified and experienced therapist can counsel you with your particular issues.  A good therapist can help you to understand and help you to find the way out of that cycle.  Moreover, therapy can greatly benefit anybody who has been in an abusive relationship.

Setting Emotional Boundaries

It would be wise to set emotional boundaries in your relationships.  Many abusive people are on the lookout for partners who they can easily push around, be it physically or emotionally.  If you usually set emotional boundaries in your relationships, abusive people will be less likely to get attracted to you.  They are usually looking for “doormats” so do not be a doormat.

The Beauty Of Learning To Love Yourself

Whether you are in a relationship or not, it is imperative that you learn to love yourself.  The rule of thumb here is the more you love yourself, you are less likely to find yourself in an abusive relationship.  Moreover, if you love yourself, you look for relationships that could nurture you.

Hopefully, this is of use to you…

Billy Baker