You have been in this serious relationship for a couple of years now. Suddenly, you find yourself falling hopelessly for another. You are now in a relationship crossroad and you need to make a decision. Will you remain in your stable relationship with your partner or should you take the chance with the new guy?

You are not alone in this predicament. Many people, whatever race or age, go through this phase in their relationships. In the event you come up with a decision, you would live with its consequences, whether good or bad, whether you like it or not. This is one inescapable fact when we get into relationships to find that someone who we will want to share our life with.

Matters like these are thorny issues and leave a lot of broken hearts behind. It is never easy to say goodbye. The guilt feeling of having hurt someone dear to you is something that you would carry for months, even years, even a lifetime.

You may think that since your present partner has been good to you, you should feel guilty and just stick with the relationship just because you don’t want to hurt him. If you think like this, even if you want out of the relationship, then you are not being fair to yourself. If you decide to say goodbye to the new guy, you might be missing something and might lose the chance of being with somebody perfect for you. To be or not to be, that is indeed the question.

8_1breakingup1Before making a decision, do some introspection. Give yourself time to get away alone to see things in a better perspective. Are you happy with your present relationship? Maybe you’re just getting bored with your relationship and the excitement of a new relationship thrills you? Is the new guy worth giving up your stable relationship for? Is he a long relationship material? With whom will you better grow as a person? What is it really you want?

You should give your present relationship the chance to perk up. Having committed into that relationship in the first place, you have also committed to making it work. In short, you should give it the first option. Avoid seeing the new guy for the time being because it could get emotionally confusing if you do otherwise. Besides, if the new guy is really the right one, he will wait for you no matter what. If he moves on away easily from you, then you have saved yourself from a potential heartbreak.

If you see that your relationship is not really working out and you want to just move on, with or without dating a new love, then maybe the time has come to break it off. Parting is indeed such sweet sorrow but it is one of the things that you should be ready for.

Since you and your partner have shared good times and memories together, you have to be sensitive to him when breaking up. Carefully plan the place and the time when you could really talk. Don’t just break up with him after having a few shots of tequila at the bar. You need to have good timing. Explain to him your decision and your dire hope that he would understand.

As much as you owe your relationship, you also owe it to yourself to be happy. Expect a lot of dramatic moments and be prepared to say no firmly yet gently when he grovels to give him another chance. Better lay your cards on the table and do not resort to pathetic excuses like you want time for yourself, you don’t deserve someone like him etcetera, etcetera. Your partner and your relationship deserve that much. Get all this out of the way before you go lunging into dating sites for a better romance.

…hope that helps someone,

Billy Baker

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