Getting over a failed relationship can be difficult, especially if you found out that your ex is dating or dates your friend. This can be very hurting and handling this situation is not easy.
It definitely is not easy to see your ex and your friend together especially if they are lovey-dovey and all. The feelings of hurt, frustration, anger, of being betrayed and losing your confidence can be overwhelming. These could cloud up your perception of things and would make it really difficult for you to determine the right thing to do.
When this unfortunate incident happens to you, here are some of the things that you could try to do to ease your pain and to deal with the situation as maturely as possible.
Keep A Low Profile. If you want to heal your wounds, it would be wise to keep a low profile from your ex and your friend for the time being. There is absolutely no point in getting super chummy with them as this would be like rubbing salt on wound. It will not help you in any way.
If you spend time with them, you will only get hurt in the process. If they behave like nothing is the matter, you might feel that they are being insensitive. If they bend over backwards by being accommodating and sensitive, you might feel like an object of their pity. These scenarios will only make things worse.
On the other hand, it will not be wise to burn bridges. Who knows, you may all still be good friends years from now? Moreover, lashing out at your friend or ex, or both, will not do any good to make the situation bearable. Instead of looking like a sore loser, face them with dignity and self-confidence.
Don’t Be On The Rebound. It is oftentimes easy to be on a rebound when you’re really hurt and you want to disperse your hurt feelings. This idea is a huge mistake. You cannot really move on if you just use another person to transfer your attention to. If you do this, you are being unfair not only to yourself but most especially to that person.
Take time to heal. People get hurt all the time and many were able to rise from the situation they are in and emerged as better persons from the process. We all stumble and get hurt a lot of times in our lifetime. A failed love affair is only one episode of your life.
Expand Your Social Circle. Instead of moping and crying over your broken heart, it is better to expand your social circle. Don’t dwell on your feelings toward your ex and your friend but focus elsewhere. You see, the more you contemplate on it, the harder it will be for you to get over it.
You can make new friends or get a new hobby. Join groups or organizations of people who share the same interest as you. Getting out and seeing other people and new friends will help you ease the pain that you are going through. Moreover, these will help lift up your spirits and you will again gain self-confidence in the process.
Everything Happens For A Reason. Sure, you’ve heard this a lot of times. However cliché it may sound, it is true that there is a reason for everything. If your relationship with your ex did not work out, there someone out there who is just right for you. Be assured that the right person will come and it often happens when you least expect it. Meanwhile, learn every lesson you can get from the experience and use it to make you a better person.
…hope that helps,
Billy Baker
