When you decide to go into a relationship, you are essentially committing yourself to making that relationship work.  Commitment is what differentiates a real relationship from other romantic setups with “no strings attached”.  Deciding to go into a relationship with someone means sharing yourself with that person and working together to make the relationship work.  

It is not always an easy decision to get involved with someone and to go into a relationship.  There will always be a lot of problems that will challenge both partners and the relationship itself.  In the real world, it is not as simple as finding your princess or prince charming and living happily ever after.  How a couple hurdles every challenge they face may strengthen or weaken their relationship.  Moreover, every couple needs to fix whatever relationship problems they encounter the best way they could before jumping on an online dating site.  Here are some tips on how to fix relationship problems:

The Other Side Of The Coin

In cases of conflict, keep your mind open and hear your partner out. Take time to really listen even when your partner is being completely unreasonable about it and try to see things from their perspective.  This is not easy but you have to try to understand where your partner is coming from.  You will make your partner feel heard and validated if you do this and it is always wise to keep your communication lines open.

It would also help you try to focus on the positive aspect of things instead of the negative.  Focusing on little things that you appreciate about your partner and his or her good qualities will help you to be more open minded.  If you open your mind and your heart, you are in a better position to see things in the proper perspective and this helps a lot when resolving relationship problems.

On Fighting

It is always prudent to avoid fighting as much as possible but when circumstances arise, always pick your battles.  If you see that a fight is not going to be productive and the matter at hand is not that important, more often than not, it is better to let it go.  Instead of getting into petty fights, save your time and energy for things and issues that matter.

If a fight is inevitable, try to keep calm and be rational as much as possible during arguments.  Avoid using “You never…” or “You always…” phrases and stick to the issue at hand.  Be fair and do not be irrational.  Focus on how you feel and tell your partner your side and what you want to happen.  Don’t focus on blaming and don’t dwell on past issues that have already been resolved.

Taking Responsibility

It always takes two to argue and fight.  Chances are, you may have done something that contributed to the problem or issue at hand.  Instead of blaming your partner entirely, you have to accept your part in the matter and take steps to correct your own shortcomings or mistakes.  The bottom line here is you can’t control your partner’s behavior but you have the control over your reactions to it.

Seeing The Patterns

In recurring fights or arguments, more often than not, there is a pattern.  Look for this pattern.  Relationships often have some sort of behavior pattern and a lot of fights usually revolve around the same issues.  Finding the pattern is an important step before you can determine the core issues that usually spark arguments or fights.  Only then can you break the pattern by overcoming or resolving these core issues.

Also, see whether you need additional help.  Though it is best to try resolving the problem between partners, there are relationship problems that get too big and may need outside intervention to be resolved.  You may need a mediator or a counselor to keep the arguments from escalating and getting out of control and to give an objective point of view.

I hope that’s been of a little help to someone,

Billy Baker