Love knows no race, creed, and, in the case of May-December love affairs, age. Though many people frown upon such relationships, society is starting to accept it. Despite this, there are still a lot of challenges for people who are in a May-December relationship.
May-December love affairs are not that uncommon nowadays but people involved in it, more often than not, find it hard to have their family and friends accept and respect such relationship. Some family members or friends would even try to break off the relationship but the important thing is you and your partner remains strong.
How a May-December love affair succeeds depend on both partners doing everything to make it work. Here are some of the secrets in making this kind of relationship work both for you and your partner:
Know Thyself. Do you really love your partner or is he/she just reminding you of how delightful it was to be young? If you are older one, assess yourself whether you are just looking for a mother or father figure. Assess your relationship and consider the future. Make sure that you are ready to face the challenges and consequences of being in a relationship with a much younger or older person.
Commonality. You and your partner may be a generation apart but there may be something common that you share. For any relationship to succeed, there must be that common denominator in interests and likes that you should share. You need to find this common ground and nurture it if you want your relationship to last.
Preserve Your Individuality. As in any kind of relationship, you must keep your self identity and individuality intact. For any individual and relationship to grow, personal space is very important. remember that even plants planted too close together does not grow that much compared to those planted with enough spacing between plants. Like in any other kind of relationship, giving your partner the chance to grow and the freedom to be himself/herself is essential.
Let your partner pursue his or her interests and pursue yours too. Do not try to change your partner into somebody that you want but your partner is not. Do not restrict your partner’s freedom and, consequently, do not let your partner do that to you, too.
Openness To Change. Differences are usual between people who are in a May-December relationship. There will be instances when you will not agree on a lot of things especially in matters of tastes and styles. This is inevitable because you do not belong to the same generation and you do not share the experience of your respective generations.
For your May-December love affair to work, despite the differences, both you and your partner should meet halfway. You must not change your partner to like what you like and vice versa. You only need to adjust a little, work something out, and find a middle ground you are both happy with.
Communication And Trust. Miscommunications and trust issues are common in most May-December relationships. This, too, is inevitable and something that both partners should work hard at.
The importance of open communication cannot be underestimated in any kind of relationship. You can make a promise to each other to tell your true feelings. If any issue arises, talk it out and never ignore it. Trust is also a key to a successful relationship, especially in a May-December love affair. Give your partner the space that he/she needs and trust that he/she will be true.
Strive For Acceptance. A relationship is mainly between the partners but the acceptance of family and friends can also help make relationships work. Be open about your May-December relationship with your loved ones. If you hear unfavorable comments, don’t get too defensive. There is no need to strain your relationship with your loved ones over your love affair. You should also make them aware of your feelings and let them realize that you will carry on with your relationship with or without their blessing. Just give them time and they will understand and accept your relationship in due time.
…hope that has been of some help,
Billy Baker
