dating the right person2

Whether you like it or not, you have to deal with in-laws when you marry the one you love.  Some say that it is not only your spouse that you marry but you also marry your spouse’s family.  Though there are some people who would disagree with this view, the fact still remains that you would have to deal with your spouse’s family one way or another, whether you like it or not.

While the success of a marriage rests mainly on the spouses, how they deal with their in-laws can also strain their marital relationship.  It does not mean that when you have a good relationship with your spouse that you will automatically have a good relationship with you in-laws.  This is an entirely different matter and you should work on it if you want to improve your relationship with them.

Many in-laws tend to be overprotective with their children and find it hard to let go when their children want to start a family of their own.  There are also instances when they can’t help but meddle or put their fingers into your family affairs.  Some are even the epitome of the “monster-in-law” depicted in the media.

Whatever the attitude of your in-laws may be, there are certain things that you must do to improve your relationship with them:

Your Attitude Towards Them Matters.  The attitude of your in-laws toward you is something that you cannot change.  Your attitude to them, on the other hand, is something that you can.  You must first accept this if you want your efforts of building or improving your relationship with them to succeed.

Be courteous and respectful towards them.  Spend more time to know them better and pitch in with work or tasks that need to be done.  When your feelings toward them are genuine, they can readily sense it.

Make them feel welcome every time they visit.  Don’t let them feel like an outsider in your home if you don’t want them to treat you indifferently in return.  Your attitude towards them will greatly influence their attitude towards you.

Your Attitude Towards Your Spouse Matters To Them.  Of course, any parent would want to see that their children are being treated right by their spouses or hell will break loose.  If you talk positively about your spouse to your in-laws, they will greatly appreciate it and they will feel good about you too.

If your marital relationship is undergoing some problems, do not display your dirty laundry to your in-laws and the things that their child had done.  In the event that you do iron out your marital problems, the negative things you said about their child will still be remembered by your in-laws.

If there are family matters between your spouse and his/her family, let your spouse manage that and don’t meddle.  If there is a fight between your spouse and his/her family, it would be wise to stay away from it and don’t take sides as much as possible.

The Importance Of Family Functions.  Family gatherings for whatever occasion are very important for all families.  One mortal sin when you are trying to build a good relationship with your in-laws is missing family functions or gatherings just because you don’t want to.  Such activity is a chance and a great opportunity for you to know your spouse’ family better and to show to them that you really want to be a member of their family.

During such occasions, dress appropriately and treat your spouse with respect.  If they see that you are good to their family member, they will come to respect and appreciate you.

…good luck,

Billy Baker