In First Date and age of Internet dating and blind dating, as opposed to actually seeing someone who catches your fancy, Coco Swan has compiled a list of pointers to allow you to survive the first encounter with someone who seems great on the net or just perfect when described by your well meaning cousin. Hopefully these tips will allow you to move onto second and third meetings with the same person:
1: Arrange to meet for a coffee. Coffee can run from 15 minutes to 2 hours. If the guy is a total dud it is totally acceptable to wrap it up fast. If you have plenty to chat about one coffee can easily become two. Here are some extra relevant advice on dating for women.
2: Arrive on time. Being late comes over as rude and uncaring of someone else’s time. Do you like to be kept waiting?
3: Arrive sober. Stay sober. No Dutch Courage. Alcohol will lower your inhibitions and may give him the indication that you are a lush or easy.
4: Turn your cell phone off. If you can’t give the guy 15 minutes of your attention without the rest of your world stopping you will never find a partner.
5: No post mortems on previous relationships. Plenty of time down the track for that. By this stage you should have brief explanations that cover the basic areas of your life. You don’t want to sound all bitter and twisted. He too has some sort of history or else he wouldn’t be available to be having coffee with you.
6:Never give out your home address.
7: Trust your instincts. If the guy gives over vibes of being a psychopath or potential stalker go into emergency exit mode immediately.
8: Be positive and upbeat without climbing the walls. Smile!
9: Leave the nightclub outfit and makeup for the nightclub. Go for smart casual or after work look. A lot of guys are put off by too much drastic makeup, so try for discreet and healthy looking. Play up your best attributes subtly. Great legs? Skinny leg trousers or shortish skirt will show him this without you having to resort to a micro-mini skirt . Your cleavage your best asset? Wrap tops are great for these lucky girls because they show your curves without wearing a shirt that starts opening halfway to your navel. Remember, you want him to come back for more, not feel like he’s seen the whole deal on the first date. Here’ s extra advice on successful body language for the first date.
10: Listen as well as talk. You should both leave feeling like you got a bit of a better understanding of the other person. How many times do you and your girlfriends say about a guy “he is just so into himself, his career that he wasn’t even interested in anything about me”? A safe ratio is about 50/50 even though that sounds terribly obvious it can be tricky with nerves etc to get the balance right between verbal diarrhea and clamming up entirely.
11: No sexual relations! Even if he is your Brad Pitt and you’ve been in a sexual desert for seemingly years. Having sex on a first date has just made this first encounter a one night stand. You need to engage the guy’s interest, like and respect. Most guys are already engaged in lust mode. Remember the oft quoted guy interpretation of “would you like to meet for a coffee?” really means “eventually I’d like to have sex with you”Â. Make him wait.
12: Treat the guy the way you like to be treated yourself. Everyone is so tied up in themselves now and has become so me,me,me.
13:Safety first. You can never be too careful. Tell someone where you are going and with whom (can be tricky with internet dating). Choose a busy, well lit place that’s easy to enter and leave. You don’t want to be worrying about scurrying down some dark alley, being followed to the subway or harassed hailing a cab after a less than successful encounter. Maybe plan to meet a friend afterwards. Do not have your friend sit there and spy on you from another table as this is too distracting and sometimes obvious, not too mention a bit school girlish. If you become fearful try a ruse like going up to the counter to order another coffee, mention to staff you don’t feel safe and can they keep an eye out on you. Go to the ladies and call your emergency exit. Get out as politely and quickly as you can. Make sure he is not following you.
14: First impressions count. Smile, be friendly and listen. Don’t sell yourself short by presenting yourself as cheap or tacky, you are trying to find a long term partner who will treat you with respect, not view you as a quick sexual conquest.
15: Life is not a dress rehearsal. Having said that don’t tie yourself up in knots about these first encounters, if this one wasn’t a success then it really was just perfecting your skills whilst waiting for your Mister Right. Remember practice makes perfect!
These are just fifteen tips, where as you can get a bundle of guaranteed to work techniques with these free dating tips and guide to get yourself a good man.
Good Luck!
Billy Baker
